


living in a daydream

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicide, sensitive subjects such as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 05:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19267024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: Ellie knew when morning came she'd be cold and numb once more, and so she sank and drowned herself in Nick's touches.





	living in a daydream

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this fic is not my own and is inspired by the Brio fic War In My Mind written by mintletters16. It's an amazing fic that honestly made me tear up so if you like Brio and haven't read it, give it all the love you can because it deserves it.

When she was a little girl she met her aunt Janice a few times. Aunt Janice always seemed to have her head in the clouds, her gaze would turn empty sometimes looking right through you, and Ellie's mom would spend hours encouraging her sister to get out of bed. All the while Ellie watched hidden knowing there were some things she wasn't supposed to witness, like that time Aunt Janice was in her bedroom talking to herself and for once looking happy. Her mom and dad talked in hushed tones sometimes about aunt Janice, of losing her husband and of a broken heart that left wounds and scars.  
  
Ellie didn't understand it all until she was older and aunt Janice ended it all. Barbara found her on the bedroom floor, a photo of her late husband gripped in her hand.   
  
She was now an adult and in her 30's, memories of aunt Janice nothing but fog. But everything was in a fog these days.   
  
Ellie laid in bed and looked at the clock. It was almost noon.  
  
"You should get out of bed."  
  
She turned her head, Nick stood at the side of it with his arms crossed.   
  
"It's comfy." She mumbled.   
  
"Get up and eat something Ellie." He told her. "Go outside, take a walk."  
  
"Will you come with me?" She asked.  
  
"Always."  
  
Ellie nodded with a smile, dragging herself out of bed. As she stood in the shower with the water cascading down her, she stared unfocused at the tiles in front of her.   
  
When she stepped out of the bathroom she heard noises from the kitchen and smiled. Nick stood in the kitchen leaning against the counter grinning at her. His fingers came up to caress her cheek before leaning in to kiss her. Ellie felt the fogginess in her head clear, and the numb feeling slip away into warmth.  
  


* * *

  
  
Fingers trailed up and down her arm causing her to shiver. Nick smiled at the small reaction he caused. Ellie traced her own fingers along his face, the rough feeling of his stubble against the pads of her fingertips.  
  
"You're beautiful in the moonlight." Nick mumbled. Ellie smiled, he had said so many times before which was the reason she purposely left the curtains of that one bedroom window open, just to hear him say it when the moonlight came in from it. It always caused flutters in her heart.   
  
"Only in the moonlight?" She teased.   
  
He chuckled, the sound deep and coursing through her. "All the time."  
  
Ellie hummed happily, her fingers moving downwards to trail along his muscled torso. Nick pressed her against the bed, kissing her soundly.   
  
"Love you." He whispered against her lips.  
  
"Love you too." She said breathlessly, his kisses always took her breath away.   
  
Ellie knew when morning came she'd be cold and numb once more, and so she sank and drowned herself in Nick's touches.   
  


* * *

  
  
"How're you doing Ellie?" Delilah asked with a smile, pushing a cup of tea towards her that Ellie grabbed but didn't drink. Her hands not even registering the burning mug heating up her hands.   
  
"I'm fine." She said with a smile that looked genuine. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
Delilah's smiled dropped for a quick second before it was back on her face. "No reason, just wondering."  
  
Ellie nodded and looked out the nearby window. Delilah's smile disappeared as she turned away. Ellie suddenly looked in her own world, eyes looking unseeing at the bird on the windowsill that was chirping away basking in the sunlight.   
  


* * *

  
  
She was over at the McGee's sitting in their backyard helping repaint the wood that would be used to build a treehouse that was being built after insistence from Morgan when he walked over and stood next to her.   
  
"It's time to snap out of this fog you're in Ellie. You need to use that big brain of yours."  
  
She huffed at Nick. "I'm fine."   
  
"Really? You don't look it to me babe."  
  
"Well what do you know?"  
  
"More than you think."  
  
Ellie scoffed and her strokes with the brush got rougher. An action that use to bring her calm and joy now did nothing. "Would I really be doing this if I wasn't fine? I'll get over it."  
  
"You sure about that?"  
  
"Yes!" Ellie looked up at him, looking so handsome with the sun shining behind him. "You're blocking my sun."  
  
"You're getting sunburn." He pointed out.  
  
Ellie didn't feel her hot skin. "It happens."   
  
"You have to take care of yourself."  
  
"Are you really insisting I put on sunblock like I'm a child?" Her voice started rising, along with her annoyance.  
  
"Yes, when you insist on acting like one." He pressed.  
  
"Screw you Nick." She spat out. "I didn't ask for your help."  
  
Nick only rolled his eyes. "And there goes the mood swings. Let me know when you finally snap out of it or want some help."   
  
As he turned and walked away, Ellie huffed and threw the brush in his direction. It went some distance, paint splattered all over the grass, but it hit nothing but air.   
  
Ellie finally felt her heated skin under the sun but ignored it, grabbing one of the extra brushes and continuing.   
  
From the closed patio doorway, Morgan turned to her dad who just walked up behind her. "Daddy who was auntie Ellie talking to?"  
  
Tim swallowed roughly and led his daughter away from the doors. "Don't worry about it sweetie." He said before successfully distracting her with the movie he just put on the TV.   
  


* * *

  
  
Ellie had been sitting on her bathroom floor, towel wrapped around her and hair still wet from her shower. She stared at the white wall opposite her. Warm arms touched her, lifting her up into their arms. Ellie leaned into the hold and her eyes drifted shut. She was tired and Nick was always so warm.   
  
"Sleep, Ellie." He whispered to her softly. "You need it." His voice sounding comforting and like a lullaby as she slipped into sleep.   
  


* * *

  
  
"I found her on the bathroom floor, she was just staring at the wall."  
  
"Tim? What is it?"  
  
He sighed. "She said his name before she fell asleep."  
  
Gibbs rubbed his forehead. "We need to do something."  
  
"We already tried professionals." Tim pointed out. "She's only getting worse." He ran a hand down his face. "She talks to him you know."  
  
Gibbs flinched, thinking of his own experiences..though he knew they weren't _real_. "You mean she's talking to a ghost."  
  
Both their gazes landed on the photo resting on the nightstand of Ellie and Nick.  
  
It was taken a month before Nick's childhood home that he was visiting caught on fire.   
  
Ellie had never been the same since.   
  
It was as if she was living in a constant daydream.


End file.
